You just made me feel so damn special
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
