Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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