I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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