I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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