Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
