The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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