i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
