i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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