Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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