So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize