I didn't shave. On purpose
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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