Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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