Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
