I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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