drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
