But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
