who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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