Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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