I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
