I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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