Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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