We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
