I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
