We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize