Sry I called you an 8
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
