We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Randomize
