shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
