We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
