so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize