Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
