not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
whose ass print is on the piano?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
