Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
