I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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