My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
