I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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