Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
