well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
