He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize