I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
