I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
