One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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