Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
