Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
