I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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