was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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