Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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