I wannas sexs uuuuu
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
