I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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