i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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