you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just want nice things and good sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
