its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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