3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize