"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
