We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
