You work out of a Hotel?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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