I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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