Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
