Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize