He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
